Social Media and Ambient Intimacy

Social Media and Ambient Intimacy

Each little update – each individual bit of social information – is insignificant on its own, even supremely mundane. But taken together, over time, the lit…



Jason Silva says:

Is social media enhancing communication and intimacy? It is it making us
more isolated? Take A look at this idea: AMBIENT INTIMACY 

M. Wiggins says:

21stCentury Communications
Are You AntiSocial? +1 & Engage.

Michael Rosche says:

Was this video posted to debunk Alain De Botton’s latest video on the
‘disadvantages of internet’? 😉 

Rivka Kawano says:

An amazing perspective – what do you think? 

martin shervington says:

Is social media enhancing communication and intimacy? It is it making us
more isolated? Take A look at this idea: AMBIENT INTIMACY 

Crystal Lee Cubillos says:

It does make things more intamate. I mean, we are sharing our deepest
thoughts sometimes on the internet Hidden feelings even. I even feel that
some are more comfortable speaking through digital social circles than
actual group circles in person. So in a way it is also isolating. But maybe
that just depends on how you are as a person. It varies I guess. The
internet is powerful and I wish people wouldn’t abuse the it’s magic. Its a
gift of our evolution and we should use it wisely. 

Stefan Carpentier says:

EXCELLENT view on things! Thank you.

Peter Ron Boström says:

This is so true, don’t be afraid of change, sure it shakes up our world a
little and human nature don’t like this. But it’s all about perspective,
take a step back, try see the bigger picture of things.

jason roberts says:

interesting insight as always but why does this guy seem like he’s on

KyaraJones says:

+Jason Silva Love this 🙂 A conversation with your mind would be one heck
of an awesome experience.

Nedaishere Music says:

I guess it all depends on how you use internet. It depends on what are you
substituting in your life for the internet. Cause sometimes it substitutes
our environment, our surrounding. Maybe our roomate has an issue with his
girlfriend and we are more aware of our other friend in Thailand who’s
status just went from “in a relationship” to “its complicated”. I guess
internet and social media does help us connect with everyone inside the
web, but if we don regulate it can disconnect us from everyone outside of
it. Inside your house, building,office,school. Who are people you might
really be able to change their day.

DyslexicGamer says:

The web allows us to pour out our hearts and souls for anyone across the
world to read or see. How is that a bad thing? You can write down your
thoughts that you can take the time to make sure it’s spelled right and
it’s exactly what you meant’s. I say that’s much better than just talking
to someone especially with how socially inept people are nowadays thanks to
school. You can communicate with people across the world from the comfort
of your house that’s like one of the greatest things ever! You can make
videos pictures music or just the written word and you can do it completely
anonymously. And what you made can make people laugh think for help them
with their daily lives. Not to mention if you’re an outsider you can
contact other people like you who have the same beliefs or interests. So in
closing the web has brought us closer together and is one of the greatest
inventions ever.

Zen Ubermensch says:

Beautiful perspective. Thanks for sharing! In the spirit of deep
admiration for your work, here’s an “ambient counterpoint” (or
supplementary observation…I’m not sure you’d disagree): today’s forms of
digital friendship & social sharing are SUPPLEMENTS to embodied
friendship. The “meat-space” shoptalk can serve to awaken dogmatist
Luddites, but here makes me wonder if the dream is: purely digital
consciousness? One doesn’t even get to strong AI without embodiment. I’m
thinking here of Aristotle’s “friendship” (Nichomachean Ethics books 9-10,
especially 9.3 where he says friends should physically live near each
other); Merleau-Ponty’s “flesh”; & Alphonso Lingis’ “dancer.” I’m also
recalling Harry Harlow’s experiments with infant primates. It may be that
sapient primates circa 2014 need the milk of social media as much as the
soft terry cloth of human touch. Let’s celebrate flesh! Today’s
Singularitarians risk becoming latter-day ascetics of the flesh,
reinforcing a Cartesian mind-body dualism by gravitating toward the
mind-only side. A porn video isn’t sex. A Facebook share has both
continuity and discontinuity with a warm hug from an old friend. What then
is a retweet?

eyros2k says:

One can foster intimacy remotely without extra effort; a conversation via
telephone can elicit tears of emotion just the same as face-to-face.
Similarly, the wholesale recounting of life events to friends and family
done through posts on social media *should* bear almost no distinction from
how we might tell the same stories facing these people one at a time in the
flesh. Intimacy, as the word is being utilized for the narrative of this
video, is quantified as little more than the act of solidarity by sharing
personal experience.

It seems worth belaboring that critique of social media in this way is
precluded by examination of ethics in the ‘online space’. On the internet
we are free to rewrite our own history with limitless amounts of time to
choose our words before having to ‘speak’ them; license to edit or redact
from there. We can manipulate our photographs, as most do without
apprehension, extricating undesirable elements by way of crop, filter and
correction. Embellishment is status quo, sharing a wide and hazy border
with outright fabrication.

This sort of intentional obscurity is not unique to the digital space, but
does flourish here in a novel way. Void of the myriad subtle cues one might
glean from a personal encounter – apprehension foremost, speech cadence and
tone, eye movement, fluctuating breathing patterns, posture and fidgeting,
blushing and perspiration just for starters – the pressuring elements that
might stop us from brazenly lying all but dissolve with the knowledge that
even if recording a video we can always do another take.

Moreover simply finding yourself online grants you authority, albeit
spurious, to ‘be’ whoever you wish. Exploit anonymity and forge a persona
from scratch, live multiple lives through different accounts, engage in
impersonation or libel – digital citizenship definitely provides greater
opportunity to live unscrupulously than real society. Conversely one could
choose to live to the ideal that would vindicate this notion of ‘ambient
intimacy’, where our content could be taken at face value – our online
selves mirror our unfiltered selves.

Realistically I imagine the majority of social media users to fall nearer
the latter of the example antipodes above… regardless of where one might
be placed on a theoretical spectrum of online integrity there is invariably
a calculated degree to which a person *chooses* to be transparent or
otherwise in their online interactions. I have learned through studious
observation and my own naive optimism in years past that the culture I live
in by and large does not encourage or reward such honesty.

I would be elated if proven wrong in this assertion, until then I will be –
all but every once in a great while – holding my tongue.

UOY KCUF says:

In general it has, BUT…. i am not alone in my frustration of trying to
speak to people (mainly women & of all ages sadly, the older the more
pathetic) & they are so rude by constantly being caught up in what others
are doing online as if their current moment with you or anyone with you for
that matter is nothing as good as whats happening elsewhere, which is
usually meaningless status updates or tweets or selfie pics that at all
cost must be liked or else. Its like the grass is always greener on the
other side & they are never willing to seek out happiness cos they always
want something else other than whats right in front of them.

This is not just around me as if im annoying or boring cos im not but this
does get real stale after happening by the same people so often, its common
behaviour for many & actually sad to observe cos they are missing out on
proper conversations that could be moments of pure happiness, laughter,
brilliant ideas or much more positive thinking.

Its got to a point now where if a person can not be addicted to their phone
& look at it every 30 seconds i see it as a great source of individual
strength where as when i was a teen it was just being normal & some of the
best moments ive ever had came out of that technologically limited way of
passing time.

Im not saying we should rewind our advances in technology, im saying
exactly what i wrote & im willing to bet anyone who does not agree is as
guilty as sin of doing exactly what im stating. I just think its sad &
making people near you have an easy way to switch off from their real time,
real place here& now reality to go into the cyber social network void of
boasting, bitching & bored expressions of no imagination.

I dont even answer my phone or txt people back instantly most of the time,
you know why, because im here with whoever & its rude & that other person
can wait, the world wont end so act accordingly.

Sonder says:

Wow I can’t wait to meet you someday. I know I will.

chrispbacon says:

It’s, like everything in this world, not black and white, a double-edged
sword. Yes there are beautiful things about the evolution of our
technologies but it also casts a shadow. Jason is an optimist, someone who
focuses on the beautiful things in life, the pursuit of awe. And then there
are a lot of pessimists out there that only see the darkness. In my eyes
it’s important to recognize both because if you don’t recognize the dark
side you can fall prey to it. You can’t deny the potential of our
technologies but a lot of us lack the intellect to use these tools
properly, which is also a problem you can’t deny. It’s not the technologies
that are scary, it’s the misuse of technology that is scary.

Vladimir Radisic says:

I completely agree. Beautiful perspective.

August Nilsson says:

You never stop to amaze! :)

guy5140 says:

This is all well and good, but it is idealism. Most people who communicate
on social media do not express their true selves. Instead they create an
image that put thought into. Social media isn’t intimate at all for most,
in fact it is a very shallow form of communication and self expression. Of
course their are always they exceptions that do share their true selves
without a wall of insecurity, however, they are the exception.

Grow Colorado says:

No way. People don’t even know how to socialize in real life any more. And
online they just give fake personas

Christopher Raff says:

It is more than ok to not feel ambient intimacy, I can get that. It is not
ok to say that someone else can’t feel it because you don’t though.
Everyone’s brain works vastly different, and I don’t get how one could
make a judgement on what another person feels or experiences. It is like
saying that no one can be color blind because you are not color blind, and
that isn’t the way the brain works.

BearLikeValor says:

“I think people talk too much; that’s the truth of the matter. I do. I
don’t believe in words. People use too many words and usually wrongly. I am
sure that in the distant future people will talk much less and in a more
essential way. If people talk a lot less, they will be happier. Don’t ask
me why.” ~ Michelangelo Antonioni :P

Darin R. McClure says:

We are living in a connected world, a global village if you will.

Amy R says:

I disagree with the “nothing inauthentic” comment. I think many people
consciously build their perfect social media image, using the exclusion of
darker elements like shapewear on muffin-tops. It’s there, you just never
see it, which in turn makes others compare themselves to this illusion and
want to project the same.

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